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Friday, April 4, 2014

Paternity, Don't Leave

I called this blog "Wrong Call" because I think referees often make wrong calls, and I think I make wrong calls, too.  But now even critics make wrong calls.

This actually happened.  Read this article, linked here!

Baseball critics are even critics of fathers too

Why would Mets player Daniel Murphy possibly choose to miss opening day just for a birth?

The birth of his son?

What is wrong with him?

Stepping Up to the Plate

It's not like it's his son's first opening day as well, the only opening day into life he'll ever have.

What the critics missed was that there is more than one life involved in a birth.

Take, for example, the person most mentally, physically, and immediately, affected: the mom.  I won't go into details, but absolute pain and subsequent absolute euphoria are pretty exhausting to experience in one day, or two.

Here is a chance for this young dad to witness a great occurrence, yes, but also to be present for his wife.  It is perhaps one of the single greatest ways to bond, other than the action that got them to the hospital in the first place.

In the past, men may not have been welcome in the hospital room, or even the tent if you want to go back that far, but here in this day and age, women and men are rarely working the farm together anymore.  Many of us are passing ships in the night.  Busy beyond belief.

A birth is still sacred enough that it is a valid excuse to be together.  Would these critics truly want to strip that away?

It speaks well of this man that he would choose to be there on such an opportunity. I'm going to take a guess that his wife will never forget it.  And that her loyalty love tank is absolutely full, for a long time.  Well done, Murphy family.

My Own Experience

I had this image as a 20 something that it would be awesome if my midwife were female, my doctor were female, and all my female relatives were in the room whenever I got to have a kid.

As a woman in labor, some ten years later, I recall looking at my female midwife, and the female doctor who was on duty, and appreciating them deeply.  As a recovering feminist, I now know what matters more is their skill than their gender.

But I appreciated my husband, who was holding my shoulders from outside the tub and rubbing my back to relax me, far more.

When we left that room, he did take some vacation.  And he served me, well, until he had to go back to work.  I will never forget that.  I was able to recover, and snuggle with the baby, and serve that baby as God had designed my body to do.

But my husband was able to serve me, and he chose to do that.

The young Murphy family will be blessed with this same sweet memory of service.  I am so grateful this has raised a stink in the news.  I have a feeling his choice will influence some other families' choices in the future.

P.S. If you're wondering how I was able to labor meds-free, in a tub, and bond with my husband instead of yell at him, check out this book, Husband Coached Childbirth, the Bradley Method.  My sister-in-law and brother-in-law had told us this is how they had done it.  No "pressure" here, but it most certainly was a "load off" knowing my husband knew what was going on.  Never underestimate the value of confidence!




Friday, March 28, 2014

Why Every Blog Begins With Why

I'm not sure what's making me crazier.  The number of blogs out there or the number of self-centered blogs.

In the past month, I've seen no fewer than 271 reasons WHY you should never say this, never do that, recover from this, always excuse that.  It's exhausting.

By the way, this photo is entitled, "WHY YOU SHOULD EAT INDIAN FOOD ON A CRUISE."'

I know, right?!?!  Who gives?!?

Does anyone else feel like they are re-living the 90's and the word police?  It's like Facebook is giving political correctness a whole new life.

WHY is this so exhausting?

Because, dudes, someone else is telling you how to run your lives and what you can say without any sort of authority other than they have a really good photographer take a really heartbreaking or deep photo and wax on and wax off about their lives and what changed when they realized that... well, they realized that if you start a blog with "why," people bite!  And they read!!!

I don't know.  I'm all about being a better person, but by God's grace.  I can't change me just by reading more blogs.

I also know I can't change me just by applying more rules.

That's the issue here.  The last thing we want is more rules.

And if there's a last thing, there's a first thing.

If these word police bloggers, and I'm going to go out on a limb and call them PLOGGERS (police + bloggers, you see?), see fit to give us more rules, I just ask, from the bottom of my heart, do it with more grace.  Start with grace.  Let grace be the first thing!!

In this day and age, and this political environment, don't give people even MORE reason to look down on each other!  For the love.

Speaking of which, I love you, so much, for reading a blog post about the nuclear proliferation of blogs.

Bless you friend!

Monday, February 10, 2014

My Only Education Post That Will NOT Mention the Common Core

This "Wrong Call" business: I am trying to catch thoughts and readjust them in a way that honors God.  I am trying to identify things I do or say that can hurt others, unintentionally from my mouth, via my heart. The "Wrong Call" is the vehicle through which I exhibit heart change: to show you "found" thoughts that are wrong, that a Godly referee would "see" and blow his whistle.

Today's Wrong Call: Not affirming the heart-wrenching decisions that other parents make.  Ugh.

In this age of glass ceilings blown wide open, or rather transferred to another group of people (another post, another time), we have so many choices.  Full time, part time, quarter time, eighth time, or - my personal favorite - sixteenth time (see my blog The Stealth Muffin at www.thestealthmuffin.blospot.com).  While Satan comes to divide, and conquer, and destroy, I have been blessed to meet so many women who build up, encourage, and even write tips and take photos on how to survive.

It's an awesome time.

And so, how we use our hours during the day may vary; yet, at the end of the day, we are women.  Women making tough choices.  I think I heard that once from a very young mother and it has stuck with me.

Respect of other parents' decisions.  Here we go:

My husband and I leaped with joy that we were moving here because of its public school system's reputation.  Our tour of the school did not disappoint.  Class act.

But, after much back and forth, we discovered that we wanted to continue homeschooling.

By the way, that's not because I am patient, or because my children are overly obedient, or because I can balance my house-cleaning, husband-loving, exercising, and educating roles in life.  I can't, and I don't, though I try to honor God with a variation of emphasis on some of them most of the time!  He is here, at the end of my wits, every day.

Anyway, the look of horror I see [thankfully only sometimes] when I mention that homeschool is a part of our lifestyle is astounding.  The look says this, "Oh, the horror!  Oh I could NEVER do that."  Or, the look is boldly accompanied by the same words.

But, imagine if I indulged in the flipside: someone tells me their child goes to public school.  I give them a look that says, "Oh, the horror!  Oh I could never do that."  I mean.  Ouch, right?

It's just so hurtful.  The worst part of it is, it usually comes very blithely.  It's an accepted response, and I can't do anything about it.

How do I know it's accepted?  I have said it, to friends who homeschooled (obviously before we chose it). I am ashamed of my thoughtlessness now, and even more amazed at their gracious responses.

We can't generalize, anymore, who is crazy, nuts, or mainstream.  You'll never know, and I'll never know, until God straightens us all out once and for all.

But often times I wish that I could all stop my past words in midair, swirl-fly around them with a camera like the Matrix, and have the time to think just what it is my words are doing to the person receiving them.

Our hours are different - but all our stress is crazy.  Share the love, the light, and the Lord, with words.



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