There's a lot I pretend to know. And a lot you will never know I know. And a lot you know I know but you wish I didn't know...
But know this: my brain has been STUNNED.
I knew I got energy from running. I knew I got energy from coffee. I knew I got energy from hanging out with my friends.
I did not know I would get energy from my daughters' activities.
At a local hippie kids festival recently, the girls won a semi-private lesson to an extracurricular activity. We followed through with the invitation. I was amazed at their "hook" and their presentation, which in one fell swoop shocked me into glazed-eye-where-do-I-sign-hood.
Reservations Before
But I held back. The skeptic in me held the pen closehold. We were invited back again the next day. Meanwhile, I had been so starry eyed I'd even forgotten to ask about the cost.
I talked with a couple of friends, my out-of-town husband, and prayed. I have never prayed about an extracurricular activity for my children, please don't kick me out of church, but I sensed this was a monumental decision. Especially for someone as stuck in the Great Depression mindset as me. I couldn't find exact numbers, but I knew there would be a high cost.
My husband told me to go ahead to the next class, and be courageous to say no if the price ended up being unacceptable. So we did.
Dessert, Please
As my daughters finished up the second lesson, I almost wept. The girls had woken up that day asking about karate, asking me if they were behaving well, concerned about having time to practice their moves before the next class.
They were exhibiting
diligence.
I almost wept because this was the exact place that not only my daughters, but I needed to be. I need diligence just as badly as they do. But also, the activity offered a family price, not by number of children - I was sold. My husband and I could join in, too? - sold (even though the activity with a baby on my back would be difficult, I am not above it).
This was different from other activities because I wasn't divided from the action, I was invited into it. You'd think with nonstop interaction I'd want a break, and I do sometimes, but I value any influence on my children and want the option to be present and participating too!
In addition, a tragedy is happening in our community right now. And so every single parent is holding their children extra tight while praying and planning for a stricken family. I have less desire for that "break" I thought I needed.
Follow this link to Help the Brown Family
I got to be present as my daughters practiced focus, self-discipline, and forceful speaking. My daughters got to punch and kick and learn the right setting for that.
More importantly, once they broke a board with their feet they had the most beautiful expressions on their faces. They knew the board was for breaking. They knew it might break.
But when they broke it themselves, I saw joy and wonder on their faces that they could do it.
With proper training and practice, they experienced the freedom in accomplishment.
The Take Home Test
The energy I got from seeing these precious girls light up with confidence will fuel me for months. I'll be showing the cheesy video I took for days, to anyone who will look! But you don't really need to know that.
What you do need to know, because I hope it will help you too, is what I learned from karate in two lessons; first, that respect is a two-way street. What I saw, as a mom taking a break and watching someone else teach my children, was the way the girls responded to outright respect. They were eager, they were hungry to learn, and they were
smiling.
Obviously I've heard this before. And I know it. But I think because there is so much to do, I get lost in the doing and forget the relationship.
Doesn't that happen in life all the time? At work, with church, in our marriages. Lost in the doing? No. Look up, look into the eyes. Respect.
The second thing I learned from two days of karate is what I helped my girls memorize - the school rules:
1. Be my best.
2. Have fun.
3. Improve Every Day.
I think these are my own new rules! I think if I take them seriously, and by "them" I mean the rules AND my family, things will get better. I think, too, this is what God wants from me... and I can see it more clearly when it's stripped down to elementary words.
Our home is about to get more fun.